Heyy cyber world!!!! I know I haven’t blogged for a minute life had me by the hair. hahah I even coloured it blue/black in the little time I could muster up. So anyway you probably wondering whats up with the subject line ” perfect to me ” . So here’s the thing as most of the five people that actually follow my blog and read my blog know that I am single mom of a very dramatic , outspoken, sassy diva of a little girl. Well my readers the other day I was confronted with this thought , did I fail as a parent? Well do we ever pass as parents?
But jeezzz did this thought bring me to my knees that I got so angry at myself , beat myself up with a branch let alone a stick. But have you ever had your kid question things or make you think of the smallest thing and over think it to the point that your processes go heyyyyy calm down. So here’s the thing I been going through a bit of a shall we call it a monkey fall, and yes I have not been that A – one for my daughter. I been so busy trying to make sure the glue fits where it has too and the boat stays afloat. That I just wanted one day to sleep in a bit and boy did she FLIPPPPPPP!!!. My baby girl was three months old when I started working , shes eight going on 45 now. And now she understands , My mommy works Monday to Friday. So she does not get it that on a Saturday mommy wants to sleep in.
But that was a fail on me as I failed there , yes I did! I failed as a parent. I haven’t explained to her now that shes older. That there will be times that your super mom is going to want to sleep in a bit. And that there is once a while that your super mom is going to go on date night. Oh yes! nine years celebrating my divorcery hahahah . Yes I made it a thing. Because I own this process.
Seriously what makes a perfect mom that does not fail. Well ladies its simple , like my special person says ” you going to be a mom today and you going to be a mom tomorrow” . And yes ladies we were never gifted the manual on how to raise our kids and what to do and what not to do. Holy cheese snaks that would mean what our kids would all be angels. Come on man then whats the point of trail and error.
My daughter is one out spoken little girl and she actually told me something the other day and that is I like your style mommy , I want to be like you. Well (sheewww wiping the forehead there) I ain’t perfect, my word did I make mistakes and did I loose my cool at times. And yes the self doubt and questions of being a mom came once to many. Not the question of I want to be the perfect mother , oh nooo!! . I am happy just being a mom because I do not believe in being the perfect mother, we ain’t Lady Diana here people. But if there’s one lesson that I want to teach my daughter is that it is okay just being you. Like you know I am okay with sleeping late , eating left over pizza and not brushing my hair ( I do wear hijab so no one knows ssshhhhh ) . But I am not a supermodel and not perfect I do not fit in a box ,because I do believe why should there even be a box. People stare at me when I am out and about and I legit think to myself my Hijab is weird or there’s something on my face. I don’t wear make up but damn do I love every part of my me. Yes I look at myself in the mirror at times and yes I can see the tiredness , the aging but that’s what makes me human and I am okay with it. And that’s what I want to teach my daughter.
I want her to know that there are days that I really feel that I fail as parent especially when she really wants something and we have to rethink everything and she does her shoulder shrug and says okaay. I want her to know that I am not perfect but that I do try my best to be her mother. A mother that can teach her that its okay to be yourself and a moment is only what you make it and there are 365 chances to life. And when I see her fall asleep with a smile on her face or when she comes running my way at the end of the day to greet me. I know I ain’t perfect but to her I am . So the single mommies out there do not be so hard on yourself , accept what you can do and try again tomorrow. I promise you things get better. Just have faith and don’t be afraid to be you and have those talks with your kids because in their eyes Woman you damn perfect.
So that’s all from me folks. Peace , light and happiness sent via this cyber space.